Baylor TIP Sheet - 1.2

Advocating for Your Gifted Child: Why Would You Need to Do That?

Do you want or need help guiding your gifted child? I sure did.

It's been a few decades since I realized that the "what to expect" guidebooks for new parents did NOT match my first child. Month-by-month descriptions of development only worked at the very beginning; I found myself flipping pages and skipping chapters as she moved quickly through some early milestones, and it never really slowed down. When we had toddler playdates, friends sometimes asked, “When did you teach her that?” and I could only smile and say she just seemed to pick things up. On my end, I was surprised their children still slept long nights and took naps. How did they get them to do that?

Then life took a turn. At a doctor appointment, after talking with my 3 ½ -year-old, the pediatrician chuckled as he noted that the local schools sure weren’t going to work for us--wait, what? Just weeks later, I arrived at daycare pickup to find the director waiting at the door for me. She told me my child had been reading storybooks out loud to her peers that day. My immediate smile faded as she explained that “kids like that” go on to be trouble, so I needed to find another daycare. Again—what!? It was a startling but needed shove in a new direction, and I was on a mission.

Over the next few years and with two more children, I was fortunate to find a community of individuals and schools that provided resources in parenting, supporting, and advocating for gifted learners (a new term for me). Wise teachers, strong parents, and wonderful children taught me that gifted individuals and gifted programs come in a broad range of abilities and strengths, respectively, and one size never really fits all. School was an ongoing experiment; I read all I could, volunteered in school libraries (one of the best places to hear school news), wrote newsletters, and learned to coach creative problem solving teams. I studied alternatives in education and began learning the critical questions to ask and effective ways to ask them. School placements that did not work well at least helped me identify and advocate for those that did.

Parenting a gifted child can bring unexpected challenges in many areas besides education. Not everyone may appreciate your child's sleepless energy, humor, or fierce memory. Accused of “pushing” your child, you may find yourself defending or hiding certain characteristics so your child (and maybe you) can “blend in.” Choosing a school that is different from where the neighbor’s children attend can prompt awkward questions and misunderstandings. Even family gatherings can become problematic—for example, if Grandma can’t help but proudly and loudly extoll one grandchild’s remarkable abilities in front of all the other cousins and their eye-rolling parents, navigating family dynamics can be tricky.

All that parental navigation can be a delicate balance, however; when you see your child also start to hide abilities, become quiet, or strike out in frustration or anger, you realize it is time for some well-thought-out advocacy strategies. In this blog series we will explore several strategies, but you may want to build a conceptual foundation first:

· There are various myths and misunderstandings about what gifted students are like, and some of those myths have unfortunate consequences if they wiggle into mainstream education. For a quick explanation of these myths and how to move past them, see https://nagc.org/page/myths-about-gifted-students. (This list came from a larger list published in Gifted Child Quarterly (GCQ) in the Fall of 2009.)

· For some seriously humorous but grounding inspiration from an articulate expert on creativity and talent development, check out (or rewatch) the “most watched TED Talk of all time” by Sir Ken Robinson, 2006—https://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity?language=en

Breathe deeply, knowing that there are valuable resources available for you and your child, and you have a knowledgeable, caring community available to you in many forms.

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Donna Hulsey is a doctoral student at Baylor University focused on understanding and supporting gifted and 2e individuals across the lifespan. She has worked with the Baylor Center since 2020. In 2005, motivated by the needs of her own children and others, she co-founded and led a non-profit organization in Austin that offered year-round programs, parent resources, teacher training, and research opportunities for GT/2e learners. Contact: Donna_Hulsey1@Baylor.edu